The Real Goose Gossage

[closetjaysfan]

Gossage to the New York Post- "No manager can run on the field anymore and kick dirt on the umpire. That was exciting. That was part of the game. ... Now you sit there for five minutes and wait for a f---ing replay."

 

Coming off Gossage's latest quote on the way the baseball should be I was thinking as a distraction to spring training and roster angst we might be able to come up with a few things for him to use in the future. By way of example...

 

 

"Teams used to get to games on buses and trains. Now they gotta fly on a f---ing airplane. You used to get to know people on those long trips. Now guys just sit back and listen to phones and look at facetube."

 

or

 

"There was a time that you used to be able to get drunk at the ballpark and that was fun. No, I dont mean watching the game, I mean playing the game. I walked 732 guys.... all because I was too drunk to see the catcher. Would I do it differently for better numbers? No! because that was part of the f---ing game"

[G-Snarls]

The quotes just keep piling up hilariously

[burlingtonbandit]

Can we not give this old white man any more attention? He's just trying to get more clicks at this point.

[KingKat]

Can we not give this old white man any more attention? He's just trying to get more clicks at this point.

 

Clicks? I bet he doesn't even have a FaceTube account.

[Sammy225]

Clicks? I bet he doesn't even have a FaceTube account.

 

I am assuming he has YouBook though.

[Dr. Dinger]

Stoeten summarized this well:

 

http://i.imgur.com/91sn32Q.jpg?fb

[KingKat]

I am assuming he has YouBook though.

 

He has an account that starts with You but it's not that one.

[Sammy225]

He has an account that starts with You but it's not that one.

 

I know where you are going with this and you don't need an account....... Trust me i did the research

[z3r0s]

I know where you are going with this and you don't need an account....... Trust me i did the research

 

Is that where Sammy's Sluts live?

[Sammy225]

Is that where Sammy's Sluts live?

 

You bet

[GD]

Will the real Goose Gossage please sit down

[Slugger]

I'm not sure if those last 2 quotes are real...they can't be.

[Stangstag]

Jesus christ what an idiot. Reminds me of Trump actually... You just cringe at everything that comes out of their mouths.

[TheHurl]

as Goose might say "the problem with this generation is they don't read anymore"

 

the OP created the last two to try and see who could come up with the funniest Goose'ism...Goosegasm?

[TheHurl]

"The issue in today's game is that everyone has a camera now, you used to be able to doctor the ball, do a little coke and take your frustrations out on your old woman when she got out of line. One backhand to the temple now and someone is selling the video to TMB or somethin' like that."

[Governator]

I'm not a fan of the replay system either except for homerun calls (which they can't even get right). If teams didn't get to review it themselves first I'd be more for it.

[Brownie19]

I'm not a fan of the replay system either except for homerun calls (which they can't even get right). If teams didn't get to review it themselves first I'd be more for it.

 

Yeah I don't like the manager waiting game. It's a lot less annoying in the NFL.

[ValiantJaysFan]

"What's with this clown on the White Sox wanting to bring his gaddam kid into the clubhouse? A clubhouse ain't anywhere for a kid to be in. When I was playing the game, kids were seen and not f***in' heard. You wanna come in the clubhouse? You want your kids to see me doing a line of coke off Reggie Jackson's asscrack? What kind of a parent is this f***in guy? What a disgrace."

[o2cui2i]

players nowadays have 5 gloves in their bag, back in the day we used to share gloves with the other team and spit in them before the other guy came out in the ninth inning. And our gloves didn't have no god damn pockets, pockets were on the back of your pants filled with tobacco, Vaseline and sandpaper.

 

[Olerud363]

"What's with this clown on the White Sox wanting to bring his gaddam kid into theum clubhouse? A clubhouse ain't anywhere for a kid to be in. When I was playing the game, kids were seen and not f***in' heard. You wanna come in the clubhouse? You want your kids to see me doing a line of coke off Reggie Jackson's asscrack? What kind of a parent is this f***in guy? What a disgrace."

 

"Trump?? Trump's a pussy. I would of liked to see Stienberner run for President. He would of made America great again. Steinberner and Nixon were tight. Look it up. Then hippies got into their business and screwed them both. Messed up the country. Haven't been the same since. I'll vote for Trump, only because the others are all bigger pussies"

[Boxcar]

Gossage to the New York Post- "No manager can run on the field anymore and kick dirt on the umpire. That was exciting. That was part of the game. ... Now you sit there for five minutes and wait for a f---ing replay."

 

Coming off Gossage's latest quote on the way the baseball should be I was thinking as a distraction to spring training and roster angst we might be able to come up with a few things for him to use in the future. By way of example...

 

 

"Teams used to get to games on buses and trains. Now they gotta fly on a f---ing airplane. You used to get to know people on those long trips. Now guys just sit back and listen to phones and look at facetube."

 

or

 

"There was a time that you used to be able to get drunk at the ballpark and that was fun. No, I dont mean watching the game, I mean playing the game. I walked 732 guys.... all because I was too drunk to see the catcher. Would I do it differently for better numbers? No! because that was part of the f---ing game"

 

I don't think you've received enough love for how well you did your two made up quotes. They are both fantastic.

 

Actually, in a way maybe you did get love because no one could tell that they were made up, even though you stated they were made up beforehand.