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Breaking: The Blue Jays are considering acquiring players

G-Snarls

By G-Snarls
in Toronto Blue Jays Talk

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G-Snarls Cooperstown

G-Snarls

Community Moderator
Posted
Posted (edited)

MULTIPLE industry experts suggest that the Toronto Blue Jays are interested in adding players. Specifically, they are interested in free agent players as well as players who are known or not known to be available via trade.

 

Blue Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos was asked about these players and confirmed (between bites of chicken souvalki with tzaziki) that they ARE in fact interested in adding players. "Say player X ... munch munch... was willing to play for us at a cost that we found acceptable then we'd look at adding that player... burp... I'm not normally that specific but there you have it"

 

Ben Nicholson Smith, of Sportsnet.ca generated 87 articles on all available and non-available players and elegantly proved that some are worth getting and some aren't. Statitical gobbledigook in said articles generated a solid laugh in the Jays front office.

 

Blue Jays President Paul Beeston was asked about this analytic process but said he never looks at anything on sportsnet.ca because he's too busy working on his new combover and polishing his walking stick collection. "Look" he told reporters "we like players. We like player X and even player Y even though I don't even like the letter Y. It all comes down to price. And how many vacations I can take per year. And the cost of gold. I am confident that if we go to ownership and ask for 100, 200 thousand dollars that they will be 100% on board with Alex and will get him that money." When asked a second time about the amount of money he just mentioned he responded "did I say that out loud? Get out. My massage therapists are here"

 

Gregg Zaun suggests that "if the Blue Jays want to contend" they should sign players X, Y, Z, XX, YY, ZZ and player DyIx = IxDy, though he admitted that he didn't know what that last thing meant. "This team is a joke full of silly jokesters and they need to improve at every position in order to get out of the basement". "Sign 'em all, why the f*** not?" he said while tweeting out date requests to his 3 remaining female followers".

 

As of now the Blue Jays are "Having dialog" and "calling agents" and "testing the waters" and "getting a feel" and "INSERT PLATITUDE HERE" but have yet to make a single offer to a single player. But there's lots of time, like maybe 18 days, so we'll see how it all works out.

Edited by G-Snarls
G-Snarls Cooperstown

G-Snarls

Community Moderator
Posted
  • Author
Posted
What have you done.

 

LOL. made a mockery of the endless reports that this team is "likely" to sign players.

 

Mild trolling is mild

Angrioter MVP

Angrioter

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
MULTIPLE industry experts suggest that the Toronto Blue Jays are interested in adding players. Specifically, they are interested in free agent players as well as players who are known or not known to be available via trade.

 

Blue Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos was asked about these players and confirmed (between bites of chicken souvalki with tzaziki) that they ARE in fact interested in adding players. "Say player X ... munch munch... was willing to play for us at a cost that we found acceptable then we'd look at adding that player... burp... I'm not normally that specific but there you have it"

 

Ben Nicholson Smith, of Sportsnet.ca generated 87 articles on all available and non-available players and elegantly proved that some are worth getting and some aren't. Statitical gobbledigook in said articles generated a solid laugh in the Jays front office.

 

Blue Jays President Paul Beeston was asked about this analytic process but said he never looks at anything on sportsnet.ca because he's too busy working on his new combover and polishing his walking stick collection. "Look" he told reporters "we like players. We like player X and even player Y even though I don't even like the letter Y. It all comes down to price. And how many vacations I can take per year. And the cost of gold. I am confident that if we go to ownership and ask for 100, 200 thousand dollars that they will be 100% on board with Alex and will get him that money." When asked a second time about the amount of money he just mentioned he responded "did I say that out loud? Get out. My massage therapists are here"

 

Gregg Zaun suggests that "if the Blue Jays want to contend" they should players X, Y, Z, XX, YY, ZZ and player DyIx = IxDy, though he admitted that he didn't know what that last thing meant. "This team is a joke full of silly jokesters and they need to improve at every position in order to get out of the basement". "Sign 'em all, why the f*** not?" he said while tweeting out date requests to his female followers".

 

As of now the Blue Jays are "Having dialog" and "calling agents" and "testing the waters" and "getting a feel" and "INSERT PLATITUDE HERE" but have yet to make a single offer to a single player. But there's lots of time, like maybe 18 days, so we'll see how it all works out.

 

What about Mayor Ford?

Has him an opinion about it?

G-Snarls Cooperstown

G-Snarls

Community Moderator
Posted
  • Author
Posted
OMG I had to look at that picture three times before I realized that actually is Gregg Zaun. LOL and yuck.
The Nemesis Prep Ball

The Nemesis

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
Haha nice job man, I laughed.

 

 

 

http://i.imgur.com/bgmt9Pu.jpg

 

well..... That's a thing on the internet. And I guess it can't really hurt his credibility any more than it already is.

  • 4 weeks later...
Lawrie22 Prep Ball

Lawrie22

Verified Member
Posted
Posted
Not a real reliable source, but incarcerated bob said drew is flying to Florida right now where the blue jays and mets are holding spring training and bob says he will decide between the 2 teams
G-Snarls Cooperstown

G-Snarls

Community Moderator
Posted
  • Author
Posted
Not a real reliable source, but incarcerated bob said drew is flying to Florida right now where the blue jays and mets are holding spring training and bob says he will decide between the 2 teams

 

Yep

 

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