I have no idea what was said - and don't really care, but I could see "spider monkey" being a name that the coaching staff refers to Stumpf by. That doesn't it's a nickname that Stumpf goes by on a regular basis. The example would be I work with a guy who's notoriously cheap. Co-worker may refer to him as "the cheapskate"....like "hey, get cheapskate to find you a deal on shoes - he gets a deal on EVERYTHING" or "cheapskate is going to review that plan".......but nobody calls him that to his face, nor is that a regular nickname for him - so he may have no idea that people refer to him as that.
I've worked with a guy who co-workers and even Town staff referred to as "Tomato" because he was a red head who's face when red in the sun. I've also worked with a guy who's initials were M.C. and he was known to be super anal about everything so people called him MC Hammer, which morphed into "the Hammer". But they didn't know people called them that. I don't think there's a major issue with this type of behavior. Maybe it's a little insensitive.
Christ - my nickname is "Brownie" and I remember being in LIDS with friends one day. It was just us, plus the LIDS employee, who was middle eastern. My buddy called from across the store to me "hey Brownie - what's that Jays hat cost" and the employee was like "are you talking to me?" I mean we all just burst into laughter and then explained to the guy that my nickname is Brownie.
The oddest part is that Bosio refused to apologize. You'd think if it was a misunderstanding that he'd simply apologize, explain who he was talking about and they'd all move on.