LunchBox

As an overweight ginger batboy, Jesse Litsch should be the unanimous choice. The question could be expanded to "least favourite professional athlete" and he should still be the victor by an overwhelming margin. No soul, big belly...enough said.

Amusing but tactless. I'm afraid that you may be the proud owner of a personality disorder.

Seriously guys, brown paper bags are what like two cents each? Problem solved.

Goins is going to hit well because he's got a new hitting coach, Romero is going to pitch well because he's got a new catcher, maybe AA can get a new secretary and turn things around?

Inevitable Moogy backlash thread was inevitable.

Just for fun, assuming the Mariners were allowed to play four outfielders simultaneously, which OF records more outs: A) Viciedo-Morrison-Saunders-Hart Marte-McCutchen-Polanco One of the boards' resident nerds should launch an investigation on the topic.

Despairing an agent named Bean Stringfellow is basically a f***ing layup. How's this guy expected to negotiate with a HappHazard name like that?

Leave Moogy alone, he's having a rough day. 9:40 Comment From Moogy: is 2/8 really an overpay for Dioner Navarro or is Anthopoulos’ ability to valuate players just way out to lunch? 9:41 Jeff Sullivan: It’s possible he could’ve been had for one year, but yeah, that commitment is basically nothing for a fairly solid semi-regular backstop 9:43 Comment From Moogy: Play devil’s advocate and tell me why Alex Anthopoulos’ offseason of signing nobody outside of Navarro is a plan that might work out? 9:44 Jeff Sullivan: The Blue Jays could have a lot better luck in 2014 than they had in 2013 and in 2013 they were supposed to be one of the better teams in the American League. A lot of that talent remains. They’re still going to add an actual major-league second baseman 9:54 Comment From Moogy: why aren’t people more upset when their team loses in Spring training? Is building momentum to the regular season not important? 9:54 Jeff Sullivan: Can’t tell if serious 10:16 Comment From Moooooogy: Blue Jays just signed another minor league knuckleballer in Frank Viola III, what gives with the Jays fetish for the knuckleball? 10:16 Jeff Sullivan: Why not?

http://youtu.be/svW6anFIh3E I don't generally care for these types of antics, but this one made me laugh. At least he's pumping up Ray Allen rather than himself, it's a bit classier

Drabek is a total longshot at this point but it's not impossible, that Chris Carpenter guy had a poor minor league K/BB ratio and arm problems, he turned out okay.

Someone tell La Russa, he'll make a phone call and a week later we'll acquire Martinez for some BP scraps and a bag of balls.

A quality used to describe food simultaneously suitable for: causing morbid obesity and apparently constituting the diet of professional athletes. Example: that 72oz steak is Sniderific Is actually "Arencerbic" and refers to an abrasive style of speaking specific to Tweets. Example: his responses to the much smarter Hayhurst were absolutely Arencerbic. Instances in which being a beanpole predisposes one to certain accidents. Example: the LD hit that lanky f***er right in the dome! He's a total Happhazard. A term used to describe professional athletes suffering from diabetes. Type II McGowanism can be caused by a Sniderific diet. Example: a rotation comprised of 2/5 McGowanesque pitchers will surely be an unmitigated disaster.

I'll change mine to hamburger if you and BTS adopt matching Stevie Janowski and Kenny Powers avatars.

You should be exiled to the Kalfus thread for this.

Yes we should all preface every single statement with "in my opinion" to avoid being mistaken for a precog. However, while we're criticising King, can someone do something about that god awful avatar!? I'm tired of looking at Mr. SelfShot McMopTop thirty f***ing times a day.

When it became obvious that lesser FAs with attached compensation were going to be left high and dry, I would have extended offers in the range of 1/14 to Drew, Jimenez, Santana and possibly Morales. With protected first round picks, the second, third, fourth round picks the team would forfeit in 2014 are less valuable than the supplemental picks these players could potentially net the team for 2015. There's undeniable risk involved in this strategy, as it is far from certain that events would play out as I've outlined them. However, this tactic allows the team to capitalize on their unique position to improve the major league roster this year, while not crippling the organizations financial future or acquisition of amateur talent.

Despite being genuinely funny at first, the despair meme has already become so frequent that it's becoming despairing --> MetaDespairing

I'll be attending games in DET rather than TOR, so at least the money from my ticket purchases will be going towards team improvement rather than souvlaki and diet coke.

Even after the Grant Balfour debacle the O's are still successfully pursuing FAs, leaving little doubt which Greek is more Jewish.

Did anyone else find it funny that CHP was wrong about/disappointed the most by two above average players and Lind an above average hitter?

Formal request to dock King five thanks for every Kalfus related incident....

Formal request to rename this thread "Grant Land" or "Grant's Prospect Graveyard", something to that effect. Watching the video of the Snider HRs was pretty devastating, not just for me but for Lunch Boxes everywhere.

Bonifacio and DeRosa are/were potentially useful players, victims of poor utilization. Goins and Sierra playing as much or more than Boni/DeRosa will be far less enjoyable.

Woah you couldn't be more wrong, I'm only twenty-three, no kids. My objection wasn't to the age of the girls, just the fact they all look like little kids. Saoirse Ronan is like 19 and I'd totally f*** her, cause ya know...she actually looks like an adult.

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