YES EXACTLY. Very well said.
And I know this is ridiculous (we all do), but when you lose a loved one there's a blueprint.
For something like this, because it's so ridiculous, there's really nothing you can do but white knuckle it.
If you tell any normies about it they'll think you're a psychopath.
So here I am, not being able to sleep and stewing over it for days on end now, and I don't know when I'll get over it. Feels like I never will.