Alpha and Beta explain everything far better than saber-metric, or saber-matrix or whatever the betas call it.
Alpha - Salvador Perez - never bothered with the homerun title, already has a ring, but when he smelled the homerun title he nailed it.
Alpha - Yuli Gurriel - A cuban legend, An MLB ring, and now nailing a batting title too, and maybe another ring.
Alpha - Anothony Rizzo, a ring and looking for another. In tonight's Blue Jays loss the winning rally will involve Rizzo, it always does, sets it all up so the pitchers have no choice but to pitch to the big guys.
Alpha - Kevin Mather - build the Mariners. career ruined by betas, but this is his revenge, laughing at the betas as they calculate their run differentials.
Charlie - enjoys bongos and is polite to the umps.
Alpha vs Beta, Alpha always wins.