Funny baseball quotes

[Atothe]

"I bet right now you wish I was Jewish, too," Drysdale said to Walter Alston when the manager came to pull him from the game.

[o2cui2i]

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. — Dave Barry

[o2cui2i]

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win. — Yogi Berra

[o2cui2i]

one for Spanky

 

I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar. — Bob Lemon

[o2cui2i]

This exchange occurred between Cleveland Indians broadcaster Herb Score and his radio partner Nev Chandler. Chandler: "That base-hit makes Cecil Cooper 19 for 42 against Tribe pitching." Score: "I'm not good at math, but even I know that's over .500."

[o2cui2i]

"You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?"--Jim Bouton

[Atothe]

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. — Dave Barry

 

Brilliant

[o2cui2i]

"I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all of those handshakes."-Phil Rizzuto

[o2cui2i]

"They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse."- Bob Uecker

[Atothe]

"He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul."- Mickey Rivers

[o2cui2i]

"I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'."-Andy Van Slyke

[o2cui2i]

"I'm praying 2 things: Please G-d, don't let them hit it to me...and, please don't let them hit it to Steve Sax."-Pedro Guerrero

[Atothe]

"Barry Bonds? I'll tell you what, if he hit a home run off (Bob) Gibson or (Don) Drysdale and stood and admired it, they'd knock that earring out of his ear the next time up." - National League Umpire Doug Harvey

[o2cui2i]

"They give you a round bat and they throw you a round ball. And they tell you to hit it square."-Willie Stargell

[o2cui2i]

"I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds so I couldn't play football and I have 20-20 vision so I couldn't be a referee."-Jay Leno

[o2cui2i]

here is the best page for Yogi Berra quotes.

 

http://www.baseball-almanac.com/quotes/quoberra.shtml

[Atothe]

"The kid doesn't chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse or chase broads. I don't see how he can make it." Phillies broadcaster Richie Ashburn

[shortstop]

"I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally." - Rich Donnelly

[shortstop]

"In a lengthy extra-inning game against the ChiSox (June 10, 1992), Angel pitcher Mark Langston was forced to hit. He wound up batting twice against Donn Pall, each time with two men on base, and each time striking out badly on a succession of nasty forkballs. After the game, Langston was interviewed. "I'd never seen a forkball before," he lamented. Added ChiSox announcer Ed Farmer: "He still hasn't."

[shortstop]

With his team behind 11-2 in the late innings, a batter stepped out of box, and carefully studied the 3rd base coach. NBC announcer, Tony Kubek, drolly remarked, "He's getting the 'hit the ball hard' sign."

[o2cui2i]

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. ~Rogers Hornsby

[o2cui2i]

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. ~Jim Murray

[o2cui2i]

Every hitter likes fastballs, just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don't like it when someone's stuffing it into you by the gallon. That's what it feels like when Nolan Ryan's thrown balls by you. ~Reggie Jackson

[o2cui2i]

The charm of baseball is that, dull as it may be on the field, it is endlessly fascinating as a rehash. ~Jim Murray

[o2cui2i]

The designated hitter rule is like letting someone else take Wilt Chamberlain's free throws. ~Rick Wise, 1974

[o2cui2i]

During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at bats a season. That means I played seven years without ever hitting the ball. ~Mickey Mantle, 1970

[shortstop]

"Why does everyone stand up and sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game when they're already there?"-Larry Anderson

[shortstop]

"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times."

 

— Bob Uecker

[shortstop]

"The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it."

 

— Casey Stengel