I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the team's marketing department to see how they plan on selling tickets to this shitshow. Just to recap:
- We were in last place last year and the laughingstock of the MLB
- 20 years of no playoffs
- AA gutted the farm and can't sign our draft picks, so we have no future
- We have a top ten payroll invested in an old, flawed, and shallow team
- AA sat and twiddled this thumbs all offseason while the rest of the division got better
- AA lied about signing a starter when in reality, he hasn't even offered anyone
- AA has managed to even piss off the "dingerzzz-and-ribbies" casual crowd with this wet fart of an offseason
There's really no annoying song Metric can write this year that can polish this turd of a franchise, so how exactly are they going to sell tickets?