How about Assdribble?
His bat is due for a positive regression back to career norms. The defense is probably below average now, but he can play 2B, 3B, and SS.
Honestly, he's pretty affordable too, and it probably wouldn't take more than a top 30 prospect to get it done.
$18.5m / 2 Years (2016 - 2017) + 1 Option Years (Edit)
signed by New York Mets on 12/9/2015 (Free Agent)
2016: $8.2M, 2017: $8.2M
2018 Team Option: $8.5M ($2M buyout)
Depending on waivers, of course. I know the Mets were shopping him hard before the deadline. The Jays were considered out of at that point - or at least, certainly even more of a longshot than they are now.
It might make sense if he's cleared waivers.