My Job Application

[AdamGreenwood]

Dear Mr. Anthopolous,

 

I am applying for the position of Director of Scouting with the Blue Jays organization. You may find my application unusual given that I have no experience in playing or coaching baseball, and have no organizational experience either. In fact, I can not tell the difference between a slider and a curve ball nor can I recognize a good swing from one filled with holes. However, there is one thing that I am very good at, and that is recognizing political correctness.

 

When I saw you discard a four WAR shortstop for next to nothing in order to appease the voices that called for his elimination due to his alleged childish prank (which eternally wounded my soul, I recognized that yours in an organization I want to work for, nay need to work for. It made me so proud to know that you would completely dismantle this team's chance of winning anything so that we can stand proud and unblemished in character.

 

If you employ me as the Director of Scouting, I will assure you that each member of the Blue Jays will conform to all political correctness. They will not be homophobic, racist, transphobic, sexist, anti-semitic or possess any other forms of bigotry. Additionally, I will ensure that they treat women with respect, and regard their whole person, not just their physical features. They will talk to their wives and girlfriends about their aspirations, their doubts and fears, and will never place their own little baseball career above the much more important job of being a mother.

 

While I have restricted my initial plans to 'easy wins', in the second phase of my transformative blueprint, I intend to make the Blue Jays team more properly represent the demographics of Canada. You can be no stranger to the concerns that the Blue Jays are severely underrepresented in First Nations as well as Arab peoples. Additionally, a greater attempt to encourage female, transgendered individuals and the handicapped to become Blue Jays would go along way to redeeming the Blue Jays in the eyes of Toronto's most progressive citizens.

 

In closing, I can not promise you a winning team, but I can promise you that the product you place on the field, will be one that we can all take great pride in, for choosing equality and love over the childishness of 'one team being better than another'.

 

Sincerely,

 

Adam Greenwood

Applicant

[Brenner]

lol what

[HASHTAGYOLOSWAG]

lol what

 

Sums up my reaction to yesterdays game.

[Abomination]

Hands up if you can actually picture Greenwood sending that in lol

[dineke]

Requires a dick pic before he reads your application OP.

[The_DH]

Send it into Griffin, or should we change the title to Richard Griffin read this.

[Olerud363]

Dear Mr. Greenwood

 

I sense a lack of respect and an element of sarcasm in your letter. Please be assurred Mr. Escobar's alleged childish prank had nothing to do with the decision to trade him. Mr. Escobar stole 5 bases in 2012. In return the Blue Jays recieved Jose Reyes (one of my favourite players) and Emilio Bonifacio. Reyes and Bonifacio combined to steal 70 bases in 2012. In addition we recieved two elite starting pitchers and a quality catcher. All this in return for Mr. Escobar and some minor league players.

 

While the decisions have not yet worked as expected we still expect to make the playoffs 2 of the next 3 years. We will always take the opportunity to add athletic entertaining players to the roster.

 

Thanks for your concern

 

Paul Beeston

[Stangstag]

Greenwood!

[TheHurl]

He would have hired you but you forgot to close your parenthesis details are important for director of scouting. You might miss a character flaw or something

[NorthOf49]

He would have hired you but you forgot to close your parenthesis details are important for director of scouting. You might miss a character flaw or something

And Greenwood misspelled his name... lol

[AdamGreenwood]

That's why I put it here in the forums for you guys to proofread before I send it in.