What about trying to make a run at Travis Snider as a 4th outfielder? I'm not sure he'd be able to play center but the Jays threw Bats out there last year a few times and it didn't turn out horribly.
This board is very active and it also has a bunch of guys who are well versed in sabermetrics. I'm not surprised that some journalists read it. From my experience of guys that go into sports journalism, most are borderline retarded.