Well, one of the counterpoints to your opinion would be that you just posted a list of backups or platoon targets with limited upside (Jon jay notwithstanding)whereas Upton is a full time player who, regardless of his 2016 season, still has a track record of skill and value as a full time player and it would not be ludicrous to see there a chance that he can recapture a portion of that. Everyone else on your list really does have limited upside because of their platoon roles and part time status. With Upton, there's actually a chance he could turn back the clock to a point. Not saying he's a 5 WAR candidate, but 2-3 isn't out of the realm of possibility, given that he's amassed 3.1 WAR over his last 600 PA.
You can call that recency bias, but completely discounting it because he was legitimately awful in 2013 and 2014 doesn't make any sense either.