God bless dumb college SJWs. If there's one thing they can do well, it's taking the role of hipster barista. My school has a great student union coffee shop with all fair trade, great tasting beans.
Also, yeah I know what you mean on shellfish. I took my sister out for her bday to the keg, we all got lobster and while I was practically having an orgasm, she was just like, "meh." Weird.