If you replace "usually followed by epic downpours of heavy rain" with "constantly", you get my sex life.
Honestly, the problem is that... well, the offense has been way too patient to a detriment. Watching good pitches go right by. It's nice we're near the top in pitches seen and SwStr%, but being terrible in K% seems to indicate that we're getting nailed looking on far too much. The way we've seen this unfold almost uniformly team-wide has been really bizarre. When that starts happening and our pitching starts slipping even just a little... yeah.