This is... starting to just get bizarre. I'm sort of wondering if you think you're being clever here with this over the top "internet bravado" thing, but are seriously missing the mark. I can't imagine anyone actually thinking any of this stuff for real (particularly the "yeah, all guys totally whip their dicks out and compare" part. And yes, I've Eiffel Towered a girl before, but I didn't look at the other dude's dick...)