There's a difference between "choking up and trying to put the ball in play" and "Sending a ground ball exactly 6.5' away from 3rd base because the 3rd baseman is 10' from the bag"
I mean, you've played baseball where you have to deal with guys throwing 85 tops, with a telegraphed curve and maybe a changeup. You simply cannot compare what you have done to hitting a MLB fastball, even one as generally poor as Zoinks.