Dr. Dinger

I killed him for ya.

I like the Mauer end of it the best, IMO his ability to hit for average is criminally underrated, even as a 1B. It's a tool on par with Stanton's power, which is obviously a much sexier commodity.

I think I've traded with just about everyone at some point, and very few of you are insufferable *******s. Better?

Geez, sorry for dissing you two. You're both fun to trade-rape.

It's worked for him in FC, so I can't say it's ineffective. Just don't go looking to get Alfonso Soriano off him for anything less than a 1st rounder or Top 50 prospect.

You and I are both pretty pragmatic, so when we match up on a need, it usually comes together quickly. Silvio is just a stingy bastard to negotiate with, and gibbers usually doesn't respond unless he's very interested. Boxy and KK are both gentleman, and people might not realize it, but boxy is a total sweetheart IRL. North is always a willing trade partner and likes to talk shop even if it doesn't go anywhere.

Right, then I traded him for David Orgeez.

You owned Glasnow?

I'm having flashbacks to Joe Morgan during the 2012 playoffs: "David Freese is becoming a superstar before our eyes."

Deception is a beautiful thing. Hitters can't see the ball out of his hand because of the rock fountain in the batter's eye.

*come on

He never did a goddamn thing for me, unless you consider tanking my OBP and SLG a thing. I hope he has more utility for Stachey. He was never going to play with Torii already riding the pine anyway.

Too late, he just acquired Bourn from me.

Big Game Jimmy

I hated that deal even at the time. Kipnis is a stud.

Any interest in reacquiring Toriiiii? Or Jason Bourne.

I'm thinking we should name the team Prestige Worldwide. We're here to f*** s*** up.

Blame Crichton.

But raptors lived in the Cretaceous, not Jurassic.

Damn that is busted. I wish Kuma a speedy recovery.

Angrioter-style trash talk Felix = Fernandez Lester < Bumgarner Ross <<< Shields Wade Davis??? <<<<<<<<<<<<<< Anibal Keuchel!@? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Archer

I still have a nice Top 5 but my depth has dried up with Sale and Medlen sidelined. Now I'm auditioning scrubs like Arroyo and De La Rosa.

I'm surprised to see a 1st rounder changing hands in a reliever deal, but I guess it's just a late 1st.

Flexor strain, probably out a month.

Sure, you just need Excel. I've never done it in Google Docs but I'm sure it's possible. 1) Go to Team Stats > Totals and copy the hitting stats table into Excel, including the team name column and header row. You should have a table that spans to H21. 2) Insert a blank column after each category column. 3) At the bottom of each stat column (ex B22), use =AVERAGE(B2:B21). 4) Below each AVERAGE (ex B23), use =STDEV (B2:B21). 5) In the blank column, C21, use =STANDARDIZE (use B21, B$22, B$23). Important: make sure you use $ before the AVG and STDEV to create an absolute reference to the bottom two cells. 6) Using C21, Fill Up to C2. 7) Repeat for each category. 8) Add up z scores for each team in a column at the far right (ex C21 + E21 + G21, etc). You will now have the total z scores for hitting (zBAT). 9) Open a new tab and repeat the whole process for pitching. For categories where lower = better (ie ERA, OBPA, WHIP), multiply each z scores by -1. 10) Add up z scores for pitching (zPIT). 11) Sort both tables by Team Name > A to Z. 12) On pitching tab, select the zPIT column, copy over to batting table to the right of zBAT column. When you paste, make sure you paste with values and formatting, otherwise you'll get gibberish. 13) Add zBAT and zPIT to get zTOTAL. 14) Sort the completed table by zTOTAL > Highest to Lowest. Optional (courtesy of JFaS): Expected Win % =0.5*NORMSDIST(zTOTAL/# of categories)+0.25.