Dr. Dinger

I'm not selling Maitan, you can stop bringing him up.

It's a lot of hollow avrige feasting on minor league fastballs. No beef, no walks, no cat juice, all BABIP and singles. His running game also got shut down by horrible CS %s. I just have a feeling with him that his overly aggressive approach coupled with lack of power is going to get him eaten alive by pitchers with major league command. He also has this weird two strike approach where he crouches way down like Jeff Bagwell and makes himself extra slappy.

Talk to the scouts about that one, that's not my comp.

He's ruining himself. He seems to prefer being a slap-hitter with absolutely zero plate discipline.

Could we have perhaps also underestimated the possibility of Dansby Swanson sucking?

See you've got it wrong. Never comp them to a star, that's where you lose your audience. Comp them to something in like the 80% percentile outcome.

He could be interesting when he's finally traded. I think we can all agree though that NA-stashed back-end Top 100 prospects don't carry much trade value, with the exception of Willson Contreras last season and Christian Arroyo (.511 wOBA in AAA) this season. I could see Candelario putting up some Valbuena-like numbers if he gets a chance.

Conforto is a boss. Terry Collins is a straight-up tard.

Pentecost has to be a catcher going forward, otherwise he'd probably just get released.

I also appreciate how you wrote the feminine form, Jessie.

Cutting Pablo Sandoval always feels right.

Confirmed.

The White Sox probably should have traded Quintana this off-season.

[TABLE=width: 506] [TR] [TD]Rank[/TD] [TD]Team Name[/TD] [TD]zBAT[/TD] [TD]zPIT[/TD] [TD]zTotal[/TD] [TD]xW%[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]1[/TD] [TD]Burrito Boyz[/TD] [TD]12.9[/TD] [TD]-3.1[/TD] [TD]9.8[/TD] [TD].629[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]2[/TD] [TD]Twist and Trout[/TD] [TD]3.0[/TD] [TD]4.6[/TD] [TD]7.7[/TD] [TD].604[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]3[/TD] [TD]Ten-Cent Beer Night[/TD] [TD]4.6[/TD] [TD]3.0[/TD] [TD]7.6[/TD] [TD].604[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]4[/TD] [TD]BALCO Pharm Team[/TD] [TD]-2.9[/TD] [TD]7.7[/TD] [TD]4.8[/TD] [TD].567[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]5[/TD] [TD]In Soviet Russia...![/TD] [TD]5.6[/TD] [TD]-1.0[/TD] [TD]4.6[/TD] [TD].565[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]6[/TD] [TD]Gryffindor[/TD] [TD]2.1[/TD] [TD]1.2[/TD] [TD]3.3[/TD] [TD].547[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]7[/TD] [TD]Seniors Circuit[/TD] [TD]1.6[/TD] [TD]1.3[/TD] [TD]2.9[/TD] [TD].541[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]8[/TD] [TD]The Bryce Is Right[/TD] [TD]3.2[/TD] [TD]-1.1[/TD] [TD]2.1[/TD] [TD].530[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]9[/TD] [TD]The Butt Stallions[/TD] [TD]1.6[/TD] [TD]0.5[/TD] [TD]2.1[/TD] [TD].530[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]10[/TD] [TD]Los Osos Blancos[/TD] [TD]-2.8[/TD] [TD]4.8[/TD] [TD]1.9[/TD] [TD].528[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]11[/TD] [TD]The WAR Pigs[/TD] [TD]0.6[/TD] [TD]0.1[/TD] [TD]0.7[/TD] [TD].510[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]12[/TD] [TD]Hail to the Victor[/TD] [TD]-0.5[/TD] [TD]0.3[/TD] [TD]-0.2[/TD] [TD].497[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]13[/TD] [TD]Taijuan On![/TD] [TD]-1.5[/TD] [TD]-0.4[/TD] [TD]-1.9[/TD] [TD].474[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]14[/TD] [TD]The Sons of Sam[/TD] [TD]-0.7[/TD] [TD]-1.4[/TD] [TD]-2.1[/TD] [TD].470[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]15[/TD] [TD]The True Cardinals[/TD] [TD]-5.1[/TD] [TD]2.1[/TD] [TD]-3.0[/TD] [TD].458[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]16[/TD] [TD]Mook Skywalker[/TD] [TD]0.0[/TD] [TD]-3.6[/TD] [TD]-3.5[/TD] [TD].450[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]17[/TD] [TD](insert clever name)[/TD] [TD]0.8[/TD] [TD]-5.3[/TD] [TD]-4.4[/TD] [TD].438[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]18[/TD] [TD]ISO Horny[/TD] [TD]-2.7[/TD] [TD]-3.2[/TD] [TD]-5.9[/TD] [TD].418[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]19[/TD] [TD]Bye Week[/TD] [TD]-10.9[/TD] [TD]0.8[/TD] [TD]-10.1[/TD] [TD].367[/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD]20[/TD] [TD]The Georgia Peach[/TD] [TD]-8.9[/TD] [TD]-7.6[/TD] [TD]-16.5[/TD] [TD].310[/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE]

I figured this would take a couple months.

Miggy was my last original

Sick catch

Joe Jimenez, Koda Glover, and Jacob Barnes are on the block if someone wants to speculate on closers-in-waiting. I'll do two for a SP.

The end of an era

Holy s***... Bumgarner out 2 months after a dirtbike accident. What a f***ing idiot lol. TRM can feel a bit better about Marte now.

Fewer syllables. People are lazy.

The Danes owned Norway for hundreds of years... though I'm pretty sure it has more to do with the Marvel character than Norse mythology.

Apparently Thor decided there will be no more walks or HR.

Moustakas got fat

I thought it was play for your stats.