Just came across these instant classics (not srs)
#1
Girl – (Arriving late at game) “What’s the score, Larry?”
Boy– “Nothing to nothing.”
Girl–“Oh, goody! Then we haven’t missed a thing!”
#2
Bride– “Who is the man in the blue coat, darling?”
Groom– “That’s the umpire, dear.”
Bride– “Why does he wear that funny wire thing over his face?”
Groom– “To keep from biting the ball players, precious.”
#3
Ned– “Pop, what becomes of a ball player when his eye-sight begins to fail?”
Pop– “They make an umpire of him.”