A-S-S-H-O-L-E.
I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, such an *******)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying
"How about this heat?"
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an *******
(He's the world's biggest *******)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an *******
(He's a real f***ing *******)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Nah!
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an *******
(He's the world's biggest *******)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac, El Dorado convertible
Hot pink with whaleskin hub caps and all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 mph
Getting one mile per gallon, sucking down quarter pounder
Cheese burgers from McDonald's in the old fashioned
Non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side
And there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it
You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why
Two words, nuclear f***ing weapons, okay?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienanmen square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we've got the bombs, okay? John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen and as soon as we find the cure for cancer
We're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiple that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be
I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes
(Hey)
And Lee Marvin
(Hey)
And Sam Peckinpah
(Hey)
And a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas
(Hey, you know you really are an *******)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song pal
I'm an *******
(He's an *******, what an *******)
I'm an *******
(He's the world's biggest *******)
A S S H O L E, everybody
A S S H O L E
Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
Fung achng tum a fung tum a fling chum
Ooh, ooh
I'm an ******* and proud of it
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