TwistedLogic

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/330/2/f/death_by_anal_by_seranatis-d33o2ys.jpg

Blue Jays extend Casey Janssen to a 2Y, 10M contract. Blue Jays designate Angrioter for anal.

Death From Anal

Hollon, Boyd and Girodo are all signing. Hollon is probably still discussing a dollar amount with the Blue Jays while Boyd and Girodo are waiting for their college seasons to finish before they sign. That gives the Jays 8 guys in the first 10 rounds, on par with the other three AL East teams. The only two guys in those rounds that nobody has heard anything about yet are Bickford and Graveman. Tewes has decided not to sign (the Jays were going to take him in the 4th round and he told them not to because he didn't feel confident in signing yet) while Celek was going to sign but an unknown health-related thing ended up scrapping the talks.

Explaining the above post: - A Grey dollar amount next to a player's name is the recommended slot determined by Major League Baseball. - A Purple dollar amount next to a player's name is the amount of money he received for signing with the Toronto Blue Jays as a signing bonus. - $x,xxx,xxx : The player has signed, or is in the process of signing, while his signing bonus is not yet known. - ------------- : It has been confirmed that the player will not be signing with the Toronto Blue Jays. - As of what is known right now, the Jays have a remaining budget of $5,567,110 that they can use to sign the remaining picks in the first ten rounds (Bickford, Hollon, Boyd, Graveman, Girodo) - As of what is known right now, the Jays are $604,100 under budget and have an additional $319,890 overage allowance (a total of $923,990) that they can use to go after any player taken after the 10th round.

Toronto Blue Jays (2013) First Year Player Draft 2013 Bonus Pool: $6,397,800 Amount of Pool Used: $1,618,280 Remaining Budget: $4,779,520 [size=2][font=Century Gothic][color="#000000"] [b]01|Phil Bickford [color="#D3D3D3"]($2,921,000)[/color]| 02|Clinton Hollon [color="#D3D3D3"]($1,168,200)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,467,280[/color] 03|Patrick Murphy [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,650,800)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,500,000[/color] 04|Evan Smith [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,446,100)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"][b]$0,350,000[/b][/color] 05|Daniel Lietz [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,334,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,200,000[/color] 06|Matt Boyd [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,250,100)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 07|Conner Greene [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,187,400)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,100,000[/color] 08|Kendall Graveman [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,156,900)[/color]| 09|Chad Girodo [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,146,500)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 10|Garrett Custons [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,136,800)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,001,000[/color] 11|Jacob Brentz [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 12|Tim Mayza [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,100,000[/color] 13|Timothy Locastro [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 14|LB Dantzler [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 15|Jonathan Davis [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 16|Danny Jansen [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 17|Eric Lauer [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 18|Sean Ratcliffe [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$0,075,000[/color] 19|Christian Vasquez [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 20|Chas Frank [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 21|Mike Reeves [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 22|Sam Tewes [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#FF0000"]-------------[/color] 23|Brendan Kalfus [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 24|Sean Hurley [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 25|Scott Silverstein [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 26|Tanner Cable [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 27|Andrew Florides [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 28|Matt Dermody [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 29|Garrett Pickens [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 30|Rowdy Tellez [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 31|Brison Celek [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#FF0000"]-------------[/color] 32|Josh Sawyer [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#FF0000"]-------------[/color] 33|Edgar Cabral [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 34|Dane Dunning [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#FF0000"]-------------[/color] 35|Akoni Arriaga [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 36|David Harris [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 37|Brett Barber [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[color="#4B0082"]$x,xxx,xxx[/color] 38|Jon Nunnally Jr [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 39|Zachary Levinson [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]| 40|Antonio Ruiz [color="#D3D3D3"]($0,100,000)[/color]|[/b][/color][/font][/size]Saved Slot: $1,305,020 5% Overage: $319,890 Total Under Budget: $1,624,910

I was just told to buy a house here... And now I'm in trade talks already? No wonder you whores don't give no-trade clauses.

You would definitely end up losing that trade.

Shameless. Just shameless.

Look at his teeth. It explains it.

http://cdn.mlbmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/529212_509416305787891_275008183_n.jpg

http://cdn.mlbmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/528180_4002095790343_1956486282_n.jpg

http://cdn.mlbmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/912045_10151537093919255_29848841_n.jpg

http://cdn.mlbmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/543755_358779940900337_1258674603_n.jpg

At the end of the day, it hurts like f*** to see guys you developed playing that well for other teams but there's a very good silver lining; these are guys that Alex and Tinnish found, they're guys that were picked up by our scouts. That tells us something about the Jays scouting department and gives us hope for future drafts, etc.

f***ing gross http://i.imgur.com/Ya6K7Jl.gif

I woke up with pox. I hope you're happy. Demon.

Choke artist.

A curse? Oh you mean to the streak? The thread title had nothing to do with the streak. http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/W2n_sYseh4wsLXEmHeKiSg--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NQ--/http://media.zenfs.com/en/blogs/sptusfantasyexperts/Lets-go-STREAKING-The-Jays-are-legitimate-AL-East-favorites.-USAT.jpg

Juan Perez has the ability of inflicting cancerous rays into your scrotum all the way from the mound. He will come in handy. These Rays motherf***ers will start dropping like flies in 30-40 years.

You know if you think about it, Jeremy Hellickson looks like a thinner, younger, non-black, clean shaven version of Cito Gaston, just without the same lips and nose. With smaller eyes.

Have Kalfus pitch this game, while simultaneously substituting for all four field umpires. #amIdoinitright? #FreeKalfus

These umps are terrible. They should punish the umps by docking 4 runs from the Rays and adding them to the Blue Jays win column.

I know right? Who is this chump, Pujols?

Crucify them. Then burn them at the stake. Then flay their burnt carcasses and impale them. And then cancel their MLB.TV memberships just to rub salt in their wounds.