Let's say it's been exactly 1 month since JPA walked last. That means that 9 861 547 people have been born and 3 506 328 people have died since JPA was able to watch 4 balls go by in a single plate appearance.
Here's another one: The Blue Jays have 1711 PA's, 350 K's, and 140 BB's. JPA has 163, 55, and 2 respectively. Math tells us that he has 9.5% of the PA's, 15% of the K's, and 1.4% of the walks. Basically he has about 160% of the K's and 15% of the walks he should have based on the amount of PA's he's seen relative to the team. Brutal.