I'll preface this by saying that I know there are quite large regional differences in police behaviour between the provinces (heck, even within provinces), but this is what I would say:
1. It is not common for police to do a video taped statement for a simple assault
2. It is common to release the accused on his own recognizance with standard conditions + no contact order + non attendance at complainants home, work, etc.
3. It is common for a simple domestic assault to be handled through mediation (especially for a first time offender)
4. It is not common for police or the Crown to "threaten" a recanting witness and even less common for them to follow through with it, although they will obviously tell them what the law is
Like I said, I know there are large regional differences in police practices, and I'm not working in Ontario, but I find my experiences to be pretty different from yours.