Operator: 911 how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hello, I need to report a robbery.
Operator: Sir are you safe? Have you verified that the criminals have left the house?
Caller: Yes I'm safe. I'm the only one here. I'm at the office by the way, not at home.
Operator: Ok, the important thing is that you're safe. We'll send a car over right away. Please try not to touch anything else as they'll want to fingerprint the premisses.
Caller: Fingerprints won't be necessary. I know exactly what was stolen, who took it & where my merchandise can be retrieved.
Operator: Uhm, ok. Can you elaborate?
Caller: His name is Alex Anthopolous, he's in Canada & I want Josh Donaldson back!!!!!!!!
Operator: Bwahahaha. f*** You Suck MY Cock!